This Too

And there was never a war,
It was always misguided love,
There were never bombs, bullets, or fists
Just adoration and longing

When both sides of my soul finally realize,
That continuing to fight the other
Is to continue to fight itself,
But have forgotten how to drop their guards

A paradox,
A problem unsolvable by the mind
A puzzle larger than “me”,
But experienced by “me”

I guess all that’s left to do,
Is sit and watch,
And Wait
This too with compassion

And hope that the truth,
Can pull together two parts,
And make them whole,
Again

Lost

Deep, Deep,
Trapped In A Cage,
Scarred, Bruised And Bloody,
Poor Thing
I’m Coming For You,
Please Believe Me,
Each Breath Is Closer,
To Letting You Shine
Hold On,
I Promise,
Hold On

Beloved

Dear Beloved,

I know Your here right now,
I can’t see You,
I can’t feel You,
But I know.

Cat and mouse worked for a while,
A sideways glance,
A joining experience,
But I am done with sticks and carrots.

Whatever the trauma was that caused this separation,
My penance is done.
Hell and Heaven have been played out,

No more reflections of reflections,
projected onto puppets,
Where attachment comes into play
And You hide again.

No more experiences,
Where you come and dance with me,
Only to get scared off,
And find the darkest nook to hide in.

I will not destroy worlds to find You anymore,
Because the harder I look, the better You hide.
I will not accept a token blessing,
That just extends the maze.

I don’t know what happened,
But no longer can I pretend.

You are with me in this moment, no matter how hidden,
You are inside me right now, no matter how dark it seems.
And I Love You, and long for You to come back
To where you rightly belong.

In this paradise, with me.

You

In the end I think it was not fair
To assign my internal world to you
Just because I did not know how to love my own sorrow, beauty, sensuality, pain, grace, fear, love
I hid from them all
I threw them on you, and blamed you for them, and envied you for them
I plead for them all back, to learn to be at peace with the wholeness that is within me
So that you can be at peace with the wholeness that is within you
We are strong enough for this,
We are big enough for this,
I am ready to own who I truly am,
and to see you for the first time as you truly are.

Release

Universe,
I am ready to let go, and have forgotten how
I am tired of holding a part of you and saying it is mine,
Clutching, grasping,
I give you permission to remove from me whatever needs to be removed
Add whatever Needs to be added
I will allow in whatever needs to come in,
And sit with it as a friend
Please allow me authenticity,
To Dance, Play and sing in the beauty of what you are
And not the story I have made for what I wanted YOu to be
I release myself to you